Happy Women’s Equality Day!
How are you commemorating the passage of the 19th amendment, when women got the right to vote in 1920?
I became aware of Women’s Equality Day a couple of years ago when I joined NewPower PAC, a special PAC that raises money to support the election of women of both political parties. Since then, I’ve become hyper aware of just how few women we have in high office (only five governors are women, for instance).
The struggles are real.
Take the case of Michelle Jones, who lives in Flowery Branch, Ga. It’s her dream to give families and small businesses in Hall County a strong voice in the Georgia legislature. She shared with me (as five other woman candidates I met last month did) that her biggest barrier is her ability to ask for money.
Asking for money is one the hardest things any of us will ever do, but I’ve learned over the years, it’s not insurmountable. It’s a skill just like anything else. And I think one of the best ways to begin to learn a new skill is to take a look at what gets in our way.
Have you ever felt uncomfortable asking for money? If so, here’s how you can
For women especially, talking about money is scary and unpleasant. Asking for it is nearly unthinkable. No matter where we’re at on our journey, money continues to play a part. And the more we can develop this skill, the more we’re able to express what we most believe in.
Attaining this skill, begs one urgent question: What is really keeping me from achieving my goals?
There are 3 mindsets that can be getting in your way.
Mindset #1: You think your needs aren’t equal to the needs of others.
Even women with high self-esteem struggles to feel that they deserve what’s best for them. You’re your best advocate, and you should not hesitate to stand up for yourself. Even “small” issues are important to address with your best interest in mind. You can insist on your rights and still be a good person. There is no law that says other people’s opinions, needs, or desires are more valid than your own.
Practice letting go of:
– Thinking you don’t deserve to get what you want or need.
– Perceiving the act of making requests to be a really pushy, self-centered, or bad thing to do.
– Feeling you should be willing to sacrifice your own needs for others.
Mindset #2: You always have to succeed, even if it means not taking a risk for fear of failure.
Listen, life is risky. So the next time you face the fear of failure or rejection, tell yourself you have the ability to bounce back and keep going in face of adversity or criticism. You can stand it, and you’ll be ok even if you don’t get what you want or need.
Practice letting go of:
– Thinking you have to know whether a person is going to say yes before you make a request.
– Perceiving small risks as potential disasters due to an elevated fear of failure.
– Feeling rejection is a negative reflection of your self-worth, rather than a result several contributing variables.
Mindset #3: You’d rather sacrifice your wants than cause pain or inconvenience to others.
Everyone wants to be liked. But I’ve found that being liked falls short to being fulfilled. When your inclination to be “likeable” starts interfering with your health, your future, and your sanity, it becomes urgent to find a way around this obstacle.
Just know that it is possible
…to assert yourself, even though you may inconvenience others.
…to please people you care about, and still not please them all the time.
…to still feel good about yourself, even though someone else is annoyed with you.
Practice letting go of:
– Feeling you can’t stand it if someone gets upset with you.
-Thinking that if you make a request, it will show that you are weak.
-Telling yourself you don’t care enough to ask, or that you will ask “eventually.”
Here’s my challenge to you… on this Women’s Equality Day, and every day–whether it’s money, rest, or a side of fries–ask for what you really want.
I’d love to hear from you. Just drop me a line firstname.lastname@example.org and tell me, how can you turn this knowledge into action right now?
The belief that opened doors for me? Discovering I could serve others through making the right requests. The request itself became a vehicle for personal transformation. I became more courageous and more confident.
“I signed up with Annette's Irresistible Request Program because of her impressive record of success in coaching, but what is truly inspiring is her passion for helping women gain confidence. She is completely committed to your success. I never thought I was someone who lacked confidence, but launching a new business brought up lots of insecurities. Annette's coaching was invaluable for helping me launch my business with confidence, clarify my priorities and minimize my fears."
– Christina Caudill